I am largely socially awkward. I have a hard time with small talk, as a matter-of-fact, it annoys me. I occasionally drag myself to networking events and I always feel like running away from the people there, screaming. I’ve accepted these things as truths in my life and I’m not sure there is ever going to be anything I can do to change them.
That said, I can talk to a group easily and be engaging and funny. I can even sound authoritative about things that I really know fairly little about. Again, I’ve accepted these things and worked these personality characteristics in a way that has suited me.
That said, 100% of the business I have gotten in my new practice has come from referrals. And not really even referrals from people who think that I know what I am doing, but people who care about my business succeeding and who find it advantageous to refer people to me. Heck, I’m usually pretty honest with everyone that I don’t feel 100% comfortable with what I am doing, but I always express to them that I know I can work through it if they are willing to give me the chance.
It’s about who you know
The people who have sent me referrals are people who I have gotten to know through some professional or personal group that I am involved with, but not groups that I am involved with for networking reasons, but groups I am involved with for actual interest in being in the group.
I’ve gotten referrals from people I know through my previous job. They know me and know that I put a lot of effort into becoming a lawyer and want to see me succeed. They know that I am brand new and don’t know a lot about the areas they have referred me out in, but they know that I’m going to do my damnedest to do a good job.
Being genuine and honest has been a lot more beneficial to getting people to trust me as their lawyer than going out specifically to meet new people to get business. I don’t know that meeting people with the sole purpose of getting new business is really ever going to work for me. It might be a self-fulfilling prophecy issue, where I don’t believe that meeting people to get business is genuine, so when I meet people in that kind of environment I don’t come off as genuine.
Associate with like minded people
I’m interested in real estate investing, so I joined a real estate investing group. I didn’t do it because I wanted to get real estate investor clients, although that isn’t a bad result, I joined because I wanted to learn how to do what those people are doing. I go to the group, ask lots of questions, and am available to give my opinion on things when asked. I try really hard not to disagree with people when I they say something that isn’t legally accurate. From being part of this group I get people who want to use my services because I am like them.
I go to church because it seems like the right thing to do. The church community is a warm, comfortable place for me and I meet people there who I get to talk to about things that we both believe in. My church community wants to help me succeed because they believe in me as a person, not because they think I’m a spectacular attorney.
This kind of networking works for me. By no means am I suggesting that these would work for everyone, because other people have different interests and going to a group just for the networking opportunities seems false to me. But, I really have seen amazing benefits from just being part of different groups and letting those people know what I am doing with my life and letting them know that I’d appreciate their help with my success.